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Engelsk - kritik?
Fra : weld
Vist : 716 gange
100 point
Dato : 26-04-09 14:05

Hej, jeg har siddet og arbejdet med en opgave og kunne da godt tænke mig lidt kritik inden jeg aflevere den, idet min forældre ikke kan hjælpe mig :) og jeg har sommetider svært ved selv at se fejlene.

I får kun et udrag af den, for så er det højst sandsynlig de samme fejl jeg laver i resten af teksten.

Improvement of students’ dieting habits.
In the near future vending machines will be taken down. The background to this action is the wish for an improvement of students’ dieting habits. This idea has several aspects. According to the article “Children teased and bullied at school over healthy food choices” many schoolchildren are influenced by their peers to choose an unhealthy diet. If you take down the vending machines you will perhaps estrange the picture of that only posh sporty girls and the goody-goody teacher’s pet have a healthy diet. The school is in many respects a place, where young schoolchildren are brought up, and if you take down the vending machines – the school will tell that it supports the students, who choose a healthy diet instead of those, who choose an unhealthy diet. The vending machines tempt also on the school, and some students find it difficult to refuse, when they pass an easy and great vending machine. And that is why the removal of the vending machines will help some of the students. However the removal of the vending machines has some disadvantages; maybe some “extreme” students will think that the removal is a loss of liberty, because their dieting habit is to eat unhealthy every day. These students will probably replace the vending machines with a new alternative.
You can discuss the removal of the vending machines – is it the right road? Or do you have to do something else? A way you can handle this problem; is to start by taking down the vending machines and then observe the students’ reaction and dieting habits after the removal.


 
 
Kommentar
Fra : frieda


Dato : 26-04-09 14:57

Ja, du har måske i nogle tilfælde ikke brugt det helt rigtige ord, og der er nogle småfejl.

MEN i det store hele, velskrevet, interessant, inspirerende tekst.

Kommentar
Fra : frieda


Dato : 26-04-09 14:57

PS. Jeg er engelsklærer

Accepteret svar
Fra : frieda

Modtaget 60 point
Dato : 26-04-09 14:59

Skift "dieting habits" ud med "eating habits"

Godkendelse af svar
Fra : weld


Dato : 27-04-09 17:15

Tak

Kommentar
Fra : frieda


Dato : 27-04-09 17:35

Får man kun to stjerner, når man roser og ikke retter?

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